We all have moments when our emotions feel louder than everything else. Maybe it’s fear that creeps in and suddenly everything feels too risky. Or guilt shows up and nudges you toward decisions that don’t feel right, but saying no feels impossible. Sometimes it’s anxiety doing its thing, turning small worries into full-blown catastrophes.
These emotions can feel convincing. Urgent, even. Like they know something we don’t.
But here’s the truth: emotions SHOULD and will always be there. They’re an important and amazing part of us that tells us we’re alive. They are our informants but shouldn’t make our choices for us. So I’m saying that they get to ride in the car, and they can even pick the playlist. But they shouldn’t be the ones driving.
If fear is making the decisions, we usually end up staying small. If guilt is steering the wheel, we tend to lose ourselves trying to please everyone else. And if anxiety is calling the shots, we might never leave the driveway. (Have you had enough driving analogies yet? We’re almost done – maybe).
It’s Okay to Feel Something and Make a Different Choice
This is where values come in. Your values are the things that matter most to you. Not in a LIVE LAUGH LOVE quote kind of way (unless that’s your thing – you do you), but in the real, lived-out sense. Things like honesty, freedom, connection, creativity, peace, or growth. When you start acting from your values instead of just reacting to your emotions, everything shifts.
It doesn’t mean fear disappears. It just means you’re the one with the final say.
What it Looks Like to Put This Into Practice
Learning to let your emotions be present without letting them take over is a skill. One that takes patience, practice, and a whole lot of self-compassion.
It starts with slowing down. Getting curious. Noticing what you feel without jumping into action. And then asking yourself: What matters to me here? What do I want to stand for, even in this moment?
Over time, you can start making choices that reflect your values and goals, not just your emotional reactions. You can tolerate fear and still give that presentation. You can notice your guilt and still set the boundary. You can feel overwhelmed, take a breath instead of yelling.
Looking for support with managing emotions, anxiety, or stress?
Reach out to ANEW Counselling and Therapy in Barrie to work with a therapist who can help you take back the wheel, without kicking anyone out of the car.