From your first session, therapy can sometimes feel like a breath of fresh air. Just saying things out loud in a space where you’re not being judged, interrupted, or side-eyed can bring real relief. Being heard and understood in a calm, compassionate space can loosen something inside that’s been knotted up for a long time. It can make room to breathe.
Talking through your experiences, especially the big, overwhelming, or long-ignored ones, can help you start making sense of them. You might even leave feeling lighter, clearer, or just a little more human again.
But that’s not always how it goes.
Sometimes therapy doesn’t feel good right away. And that’s not because it isn’t helping. In fact, it might be a sign that it’s starting to work.
Depending on what you’re bringing into the room, you might not feel calmer or happier at first. You might feel more stirred up or unsettled, even a little stuck. Like you’ve just opened a messy drawer and now you’re staring at all the tangled cords inside. Helpful, but not exactly soothing.
For example, if you’re in a toxic or ongoing stressful situation, like a difficult relationship, workplace, or family dynamic, therapy doesn’t automatically remove you from that. It can offer relief, yes, but the deeper work comes from learning how to manage what you’re going through. That might mean setting boundaries, recognizing harmful patterns, or figuring out how to leave the situation altogether. These are the things that lead to lasting relief, but they take time. And they don’t always feel good while you’re in the middle of them.
This is where the difference between feeling better and getting better really matters. Therapy can help you do both. Just not always at the same time.
Feeling better is symptom relief. Getting better is about lasting change. That might include facing the things you’ve been avoiding, shifting old patterns, or learning to respond to stress in new ways. And yes, that can be hard. Sometimes it means walking out of a session feeling unsettled instead of soothed. That doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It usually means something important is happening.
If you’ve been wondering, “Why don’t I feel better yet?” try asking, “Am I starting to get better?”
You’re not doing therapy wrong. You’re doing the work. And over time, that’s what brings real, lasting relief.
At Anew Counselling and Therapy, based in Barrie, Ontario, I work with individuals and couples who want more than a quick fix. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, relationship challenges, perfectionism, or feeling stuck in old patterns, therapy can help you make meaningful changes that last.
Want to talk more about how therapy might go for you? Get in touch. I’d love to hear from you.